Jiddu Krishnamurti - There is an art of listening: to listen to what is being said

Jiddu Krishnamurti - One does not listen to another actually. If you do listen, there is always a defence, there is always a resistance to anything that is said, to something new. There is an immediate reaction to resist because it might be disturbing. So, there is an art of listening: to listen to what is being said, not interpret what is being said to suit your own convenience, to your own traditional language, but to listen to the word, the meaning of that word, to see that we understand each other.

To listen, one has to have not only a certain quality of attention but also a sense of affection, a sense of trying to understand what the other fellow is saying. Communication is possible at depth only when both of us are concerned about the same subject, about the same ideas, or concerned about a certain thing. Then we are both in communication with each other.

But if you resist, as perhaps you are going to resist a great deal of what the speaker is going to say, then communication is not possible. One has to learn the art of listening. When you listen to music which you like, there is no resistance. You go with it, you shake your head, you clap your hands, you do all kinds of things to express your appreciation, your understanding of the quality of the music, and so on. There is no form of defence, no form of resistance; you are going with it; you are flowing with it. In the same way, kindly listen, not to be instructed, not to be told what to do, but to understand what is being said.

So, please learn the art of listening, not to the speaker only, but to your wife, to your husband, to your children, to the birds, to the wind, to the breeze, so that you become extraordinarily sensitive in listening. When you listen, you catch up quickly, you don't have to have a lot of explanations, analyses and descriptions; you are flowing with each other. We are talking together as two friends sitting in a park, or in a wood, quiet, birds are singing, there's plenty of light coming through the leaves on the floor and there is a sense of appreciation of beauty. When you so listen, the miracle takes place. When you so listen, it is like sowing a seed. If the seed is vital, strong, healthy, and the ground is properly prepared, it inevitably grows. So one has to learn the art of listening. If you listen very, very carefully, you capture it so quickly, the meaning of what the other is saying.

Perhaps many of you have listened to the speaker for a number of years, unfortunately; and you get used to it; you get used to his language, his gesture, how he looks and so on, and you gradually slip off. And you say, 'Why haven't I, after years of listening to this man, changed?' It is because you have actually not listened with your heart, with your mind, with your whole energy. So, don't blame the speaker, but rather learn, if one may suggest most respectfully, the way of listening. There is great beauty in listening to a bird, to the wind among the leaves, and to a word that is spoken with depth, with meaning, with passion.

Source - J Krishnamurti Book "Mind with out Measure"

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Jiddu Krishnamurti - To begin very closely is to observe our relationship with another

Jiddu Krishnamurti - Look at it very closely in another direction. We have problems in relationship between man and woman, or between man and man - homosexuality, in this country, more and more, not that it doesn't exist in other countries, but here it is becoming - you know all about it. Look at it very closely, observe it, not try to change it, try to direct it, say, it must not be this way, or it must be that way, or help me to get over it, but just to observe. You can't change the line of that mountain, or the flight of the bird, or the flow of the water, swift, you just observe it, and see the beauty of it. But if you observe and say, that is not so beautiful as the mountain I saw yesterday, you are not observing, you are merely comparing.

So let's observe very closely this question of relationship. Relationship is life. One cannot exist without relationship. You may deny relationship, you may withdraw from relationship because it is frightening, because in that there is conflict, hurt. So most of us build a wall round ourselves in relationship. So let's look very closely - observe, not learn. There is nothing to learn, but only to observe. You see the beauty of it? Because we always want to learn and put it into the category of knowledge. Then we feel safe. But whereas if you observe without any direction, without any motive, without any interference of thought, just to observe, not only with the naked eye visually, but also with a mind and heart and brain that is free to observe without any prejudice. Then you discover for yourself the beauty of relationship. But we have not that beauty.

So let's look at it closely. What is relationship? To be related, not blood relationship, but to be related to another. Are we ever related to another? Except perhaps sexually, or holding hands, but psychologically, inwardly, deeply, are we ever related to anybody at all? Or we want to be so deeply related and we don't know how it could happen. So our relationship with another is full of tears, occasional joy, occasional pleasure, and the repetition of sexual pleasure.

So if you observe, are we related to anybody at all? Or we are related to another through thought, through the image that thought has built about your husband and your wife, the image that you have about her or him. Obviously. So our relationship is between the image you have about her and she has about you. And each one carries this image, and each one goes in his own direction - ambition, greed, envy, competition, seeking power, position. You know what is happening in relationship, each one moving in opposite directions, or perhaps parallel, and never meeting. Because this is the modern civilisation, this is what you are offering to the world. And so there is constant struggle, conflict, divorce, changing of so-called mates. You know what is happening.

So when you observe all this it is rather frightening. And this is called freedom. So when you observe the fact - if you observe the fact very closely without any motive, without any direction, the fact begins to change because you are giving your complete attention to observe. You follow this? When you give complete attention to something you bring, as it were, light upon the subject. Then that light clarifies, and that clarification dissolves that which is.

You understand this? Are we meeting each other in this? That is the fact is there is an image which thought has created during twenty, thirty, five days, or ten years, an image, and she, the other has an image, and each one is ambitious, greedy, wanting to fulfil sexually, this way, that way, you know, all the turmoil that goes on in this so-called relationship. And the observation of that, pure observation of that. It is only when you want to escape from it that all the neurotic business begins, and then you have all the psychologists helping you to become more neurotic. Face the problem, look at it, give your total attention to it. When you do give so complete attention, with your heart, with your brain, with your nerves, with everything that you have, all your energy to look, then in that attentive observation there is clarification. And that which is clear has no problem. Then relationship becomes something entirely different.

So life, for most of us is becoming an enormous problem, because life is relationship. And if we are not related, as we are not, from that all problems arise. And we have created a society which is born out of the lack of relationship. And the communists, the socialists, the democrats, the politicians, are trying to change the nature, the structure of society. The basic question is to have right relationship with another. If you have it with one person you have it with everybody, with nature, with all the things of the beauty of the earth.

So one has to go back and enquire very deeply, again why thought has created this havoc in our lives, because it is thought that has put together this image about my wife and myself, and me and another. You cannot escape from this unless you resolve it, look at it - going to church, prayers, those are all too childish, utterly immature, because they have not solved any problem. One must begin very close to go very far.

To begin very closely is to observe our relationship with another, whatever it is, with your boss, with your, if you are a carpenter, if you are a master carpenter, if you are a foreman, if you are a worker, with your wife, husband, all that. Life is a movement in relationship. And we have destroyed that relationship by thought. And thought is not love. Love is not pleasure, it is not desire. But we have reduced everything to that. We will go into all that next Saturday and Sunday. But day after tomorrow, Tuesday and Thursday, we will have questions. Finished.

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Jiddu Krishnamurti on being Honest - Is it possible to be totally honest?

Jiddu Krishnamurti - You know, one of the most difficult things in life is to be honest. To be honest to what? You understand my question? I want to be honest - honest being the word, not the actual state of mind that is honest. The meaning of that word, the semantic meaning, is to think very clearly, precisely, and to say exactly what you mean - not to say one thing, think another thing, and do still another thing. That is what most idealists do.

They think one thing, do another thing, and say something else. To me that is total dishonesty. Honesty exists only when you say exactly what you mean, without double meaning, double thinking, and not conforming to any pattern, any principle, any ideal. Then you are honest to yourself: what you think, what you do, is not contradictory to what you feel, what you assert, and so on.

Most of us are quite dishonest to ourselves because we adjust ourselves very quickly to what other people want, to what other people say. We suppress our own feelings, our own ideas, our own intentions, because we meet somebody who is bigger and more popular and influential; so, we become hypocritical. You can observe this very clearly in the politicians throughout the world - and there is a politician in each one of us.

So, is it possible to be totally honest? - not honest to an ideal or a principle, for that is not honesty. If I practice an ideal, I am leading a double life. Observe it in yourself. If I practice nonviolence because I am violent, what takes place inwardly, psychologically? The fact is one thing, the ideal is the other. Actually, I am violent and I am trying not to be violent, but in doing so I am sowing the seeds of violence - for the fact is one thing, the ideal another. This may be a very drastic saying, but look at it, examine it. An idealist is dishonest. The man who follows a principle is a dishonest man. When a man is practicing something which he is not, then he is dishonest. But, when he acknowledges what he is, then he is very honest.

So, the problem is, how to go beyond what is. You understand? Say, for instance, you are sensual, with all its complexity, and you try not to be sensual because you have read, or have been told, that if you are sensual you cannot possibly come to truth, that you cannot be this or cannot be that. You try to suppress sensuality, but the fact is, you are sensual. And, when you try not to be sensual, you are playing a dishonest game with yourself. Then the question arises: How is it possible to go beyond this sensuality? That is the question, not how to become nonsensual. If a man is angry and says, ''I will not be angry,'' he is not playing an honest game with himself. But if he says, ''I am angry; I acknowledge it; I see that I am angry. How am I to go beyond it?'' - that is an honest question. Not, how to become, but how to have a mind which is not capable of anger. You understand?

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Jiddu Krishnamurti: Are your teachings intended only for the sannyasis or for all of us with families and responsibilities?

Questioner: Are your teachings intended only for the sannyasis or for all of us with families and responsibilities?

Jiddu Krishnamurti: These teachings are meant for all, for those who have renounced the world and for those who are in it. The renouncer is still in the world of his burning desires, as the man of the world. They are both held in bondage - the bondage of sensate values or the bondage of the mind.

These teachings bring freedom to both. Reality is not found either in things made by the hand or by the mind; truth is the liberator, the truth of what is. One has to understand what is - the passions and the envies, the ill will and the acquisitiveness - and the understanding of what is is its own liberation. One realizes at rare moments, when the mind is riot occupied with itself, when the self is absent, that truth which liberates.

The man of family is caught in the world of his own responsibilities. The more there is confusion about him, the more he is concerned with his family, with himself, and so seeks security, which only adds further confusion. Instead of understanding the significance of confusion himself, he looks to the security of his family, which he calls responsibility. He must bring peace and order within himself and not escape from this fact through the apprehensive search for security. The man who has renounced the world - he too is caught in the desire for security; he is not different for he is burdened with the formulations of his own mind; they too bring him confusion and sorrow. Creation, reality, is when the mind ceases to create.

Is it possible to live in the world without greed and ill will, without stupidity and those passions that destroy man? Yes, it is possible. You may laugh but it is possible. Try and see if it is not possible. To live without greed and ill will, you must be very alert, aware of every thought and feeling; following a leader, accepting conclusions and formulas indicate the lack of awareness which alone can free you from conflict and misery. Without love, family has no significance, and love alone can bring about regeneration and a happy world.

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